God called me to do something so beyond who I was at the time, everyone agreed, it was a bad idea. Undisciplined, untrained, and unhealthy, I was convinced I would fail.
God had called me to … homeschool.
Actually for two years He pressed me to homeschool, but I had excuses.
- I’m too sick. I can barely function, much less be responsible for my child’s education!
- I don’t have the right education. I earned business degrees. What do I know about early education?
- My child is an only. What about all that socialization stuff?
- Clueless. What do I know about homeschooling? My friends don’t even do it!
- I’ll fail…and my kid will be ignorant. He won’t be able to spell or learn complicated math.
- It’s too much. No one person can educate their child. The government uses tons of people. I don’t have “people”!
Then God created a crossroads. Something had to change in our family. My child needed a healthier place to spend each day.
After reading and researching, I found a local homeschool co-op and scheduled a visit. I inundated the Director with a barrage of questions. She patiently answered them all. Eventually, she could tell I was looking for an answer she could not provide. She did the only thing a woman filled with the Spirit does when she encounters a distressed soul, she told me to pray about it.
I had spent so much time resisting God that I never actually prayed about it. When I finally did pray that afternoon, God reminded me.
Confronted with the truth, I said, “Yes.”
That’s when the struggles began.
My child did not want to homeschool. My husband wasn’t entirely onboard. Our family members all thought I wouldn’t make it. Even one of my son’s teachers at school expressed her doubt! I told her I was going to give homeschooling a try for a year. Her response, “Maybe you’ll be back by Christmas.”
Ha! Honey after she said that, there was no way, I wasn’t going to at least finish a year!
Our first year of homeschooling was harsh. Looking back, that was on me. I struggled to maintain control over a situation I never had any control over. This plan belonged to God.
I did none of the following:
- Morning devotion.
- Bible study.
- Prayer: over my school, during school or during conflict.
- Exercise discipline. Basically because I didn’t have any.
- Demonstrate consistency.
- Join community.
Totally messed that up.
To make things worse, my chronic illnesses kept me; in bed late, sometimes in bed most of the day and exhausted. You see why my family was concerned about homeschooling?
After Christmas Break, I wanted to quit. My husband started looking for private schools. My kid was not happy.
What my kid’s teacher said echoed in my head. God called me to homeschool! I began praying. Okay, more like complaining to God about how he’d made this mess and now I was gonna look like a schmuck in front of this teacher, so thanks a lot God!
Not my best moment.
Not only did God listen, He gave me peace and reassurance. It doesn’t matter what anybody says, I must choose to be obedient or not. So I continued on.
We did complete the 3rd grade. After all the doubting and whining, we all did, God blessed us anyway!
Then God called me to homeschool 4th, 5th, 6th and now 7th grade. You know what I’ve learned? No, I’m not equipped.
God doesn’t call us to walk a hopeless journey.
He calls us on a wonderful journey of obedience and faith.
Looking back, I see all of God’s blessings from each year of our homeschool journey. What’s next? Not a clue. I’m learning to be okay with that.
Oh, and about that teacher…
After our 3rd grade year, I wanted to go busting through the double-doors of my son’s old school like a Broadway show and do a serious happy dance in front of that doubting teacher so bad. I still do…
But then I remind myself, God creates miracles; I’m just privileged to see them.